#relationships

Pay It Forward Friday - The Power Of Forgiveness

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Happy Love Week you guys! I hope you all had a fun, sweet filled, candy covered Valentine's Day!! I started my day with a brand new head cold that's still lingering, but managed to salvage it by having brunch with Will, getting the boys some new books (thanks WORD Brooklyn), balloons and heart shaped sprinkle donuts. It was a good day. And now it's Friday - already - again!! I swear, I will never get over the speed in which time flies. I've been thinking about my pay it forward this week, I was tossing around a few ideas in my head but after doing the #WhyAmIYelling? LIVE! yesterday with my guest, Emily Hooks, I cannot get the topic of forgiveness out of my mind. We had a powerful conversation about the art of forgiveness that I think just about everyone in the world could learn something from. It's a funny thing, forgiveness. It's empowering and emotional. But one thing's for sure, it's necessary - every day. Emily and I talked about learning how to utilize forgiveness in our daily lives. By incorporating it into your daily gratitude or affirmation practice (you do that right?), it can really help you release any kind of negative energy around a person or situation. The key is that you have to learn how to forgive yourself first, then you can forgive the rest of it.

You might be reading this right now thinking to yourself "Krista, you're nuts, I don't have enough stuff to forgive to acknowledge it every day" and my response to that is, yes, you probably do and if not, then good, take a day off. But if you really think about it, even the smallest thing that hurt you today requires forgiveness. For example, my good friend was in her car after picking up her son from school today. While sitting at a stop sign, a group of teenage boys were crossing the street in front of her car and one of the boys decided to do a WWF wrestling move and slam himself onto the hood - FOR FUN - um, what? Leaving a human teenage size body dent on the hood of her (very nice) car. It scared the shit out of her and her son.She called the police and filed a report and is beyond mad at the whole thing. I would be the same way!! But, in order to let it go and not allow it to consume her, she needs to forgive the situation and send some love into the universe for those boys. Easier said than done sometimes, but after my discussion with Emily, necessary to be completely at peace within yourself.

I could go on and on with examples of reasons to add a forgiveness practice into your daily life, but I think you get the idea. By now, you probably know I'm a big advocate for doing mindset work every day. Positivity is something I try to project to the world consistently - yes, of course I have crappy days, that's life, but for the most part, I try to find the silver lining. Forgiveness is an essential part of that, and after my enlightening chat today I am making it a point to use it in my daily routine.

So this week, instead of paying it forward with good deeds, (you should still do that), pay it forward to yourself and forgive. Forgive yourself for anything your harboring and forgive the people or situations that show up from time to time in the back of your mind from years ago, from days ago, from this morning. Forgive your kids for not listening and making you feel like the bad guy for yelling at them. Forgive the nail tech who cut your cuticle and made it bleed. Forgive the guy who cut you off on the highway. That stuff sinks in, even if it seems surface and like it should roll off our backs, a lot of the time those small incidents snowball into larger problems. Forgive them all.

If you want to check out my interview with Emily Hooks, founder of The Forgiveness Academy, click here: https://youtu.be/UbEypwnjU2U

Happy Friday!

xo

 

5 Ways To Focus On Love (Everyday)

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Ah, Valentine's Day! The one day a year we're expected to show our love and appreciation for our partners....the ONE DAY. I'm all for hearts and flowers, believe me! But, I l try to show my love and appreciation every day. Look, if you're not putting some kind of effort into your relationship for the other 364 days a year, then don't be shocked when your foundation starts to show cracks. Now, I'm by no means saying you do this but...I've been with my husband for 20 years, I know how easy it is to allow your relationship to slip to the the back burner. We're all busy - between kids, jobs, obligations, activities, and whatever else you have going on, it's of no surprise that you have very little time to devote to yourself and your partner. I get it, I've been there, hell, sometimes I'm back there and have to make a conscious effort to shift gears.

It's hard to stay focused on your relationship when so many other "important" things come up - at least we prioritize them as important, but are they really? It's overwhelming sometimes, all of the items on the to-do list piling up and in the back of your head you're trying to remember the last time you saw your partner naked. When that started happening in my marriage, we decided to make a few changes and you know what? No one got hurt, no one suffered...everything got better. You see, when your partner knows you care, when they know you're thinking about them and appreciate them, they are more likely to return the sentiment.

If you're trying to figure out how to make time to focus on your relationship, here are 5 things we do to continually work on ours:

Listening Listening Ears (as my 5 year old would say) - Put the device down! Make an effort to listen to your partner, ask engaging questions and participate in meaningful conversations. Don't make it about the kids or yourself, make it about something your partner is interested in - you never know, you could learn something too!

Touch Me - Intimacy is important! It's also non-existant in some of our relationships. Alone time may seem impossible but making an effort to have some kind of connection on a daily basis is essential. A kiss, a hug, an unexpected touch are all indicators to your partner that you're still interested. Who knows...maybe you'll get lucky after the kids go to bed!

Take Five - Make time for selfcare. Say what? I know, it's not easy, but trust me, even if it's five minutes, it will change your outlook. Try to find time in every day for yourself - have a cup of tea, take a bath, read a book - do something that doesn't involve a "to-do" and is something that you enjoy. Having a few minutes to unwind, decompress and focus on literally nothing allows you to clear your mind and will help you better focus when you need it.

Consideration - Be aware of one another's needs and goals and try to work them into your relationship goals. Showing that you care about your partners plans and including them in yours (and vice versa) will encourage communication on a higher level.

Thank You - Appreciating your partner is a sign that your respect your relationship. Unsolicited recognition for the smallest thing will not go unnoticed. Say thank you, use kind words, be thoughtful. It goes a long way!

Every relationship takes work - Having a healthy one with your partner shows you have the stamina to be in it for the long haul, and it helps create a standard for your children to respect and admire. Working together as a team will solidify your love and appreciation for one another as you continue on your journey!!

Happy Love Day!!

YOU Are Worth It.

This week I've been talking all about empowerment - being your authentic self, taking charge of your life, what empowerment means to you and the power of connecting. Today I did a live stream about knowing your self worth and I thought I would share it here too. Have a great weekend!!! And hey, YOU are worth it!! xoxo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sk9QurOeXfQ

 

Jump In

[et_pb_section admin_label="section"][et_pb_row admin_label="row"][et_pb_column type="4_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Text"] You guys, I've been spending the last several weeks making changes, lots of changes. Overcoming fears and diving head first into uncharted waters - scary for sure but exhilarating and exciting! I started this journey almost 2 years ago...the one where I needed to make a change in my life because I was drowning in unhappiness even though I didn't really know it. I hated my job, but stayed because I loved the people. I stayed because it was easy. I stayed because it was convenient. I died a little more every day back then. I was on auto pilot. Then I woke up and realized that if I didn't make a change I would make everyone around me miserable.

So I jumped - out of the plane without a parachute. I had no idea what I was going to do. No idea what I wanted to be. I had dreams but no solid plan on how I was going to achieve them. I interviewed with companies that I had zero desire to work for. I did personal marketing plans, resumes and updated all of my social media accounts. I paced the floor with worry. I looked at my children and wondered what they thought of me. I felt fear.

Then I woke up. One day I woke up and realized that the only way I was going to be able to find myself was to pay attention to myself. So I got a coach and she helped me peel back the onion. She helped me realize that I didn't want to do it any other way but mine. That my dreams and goals were too big for me to follow someone else's rules. That I needed to be helping other people reach their dreams too. And that's what I do. I found my purpose. I found my sense of self, I found my direction, I found my calling. I found it through the most important people in my life, my husband and my boys. I want to give that gift to every parent on the planet. I want them to have that security, that serenity, that place where yes, sometimes it sucks but most of the time it's really great.

Parenting is hard. Relationships are hard. Marriage is hard. But when you find a stable footing, it's all worth it. When you have a partner who is in the trenches with you on the same page as you are, it's all worth it. Will there be bad days, yep there will. But there will be way more good ones - if you focus on the right stuff.

I've learned a lot of lessons over the last month, about myself and about my business and I forgot to be afraid of it. I was so damn excited about it that fear never played into the equation. When balance happens things shift. Confidence emerges, peace enters and fearlessness takes over. I can do anything I set my mind to - in my relationships, in my parenting, in my business. I have that power, and I have that support. That's what I give back. Power to parents who feel like they're flailing, like they're treading water barely able to stay afloat. I give them hope and encouragement to make changes that will empower them to have their dreams fulfilled.

If you're harboring any doubt about where you want to be in your relationship or your parenting, jump in. Make the change. Find your power. It feels so damn good!

Pay it forward to yourself today, find a quiet space, meditate, take some time to think about who, what and where you want to be. Listen to your gut, because that's where it all begins.

Happy Friday! xo

 

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Clarity

[et_pb_section admin_label="section"][et_pb_row admin_label="row"][et_pb_column type="4_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Text"] You guys...I know I've been a little MIA on here lately but it's for great reason. You see, I've been struggling with getting some clarity around my business and I needed to take a minute to do some research and connect with new faces in order to get what I needed, and boy did I ever!! I've been participating in a 30 day online challenge for women entrepreneurs who want to blow up their businesses. It's being facilitated by 3 amazing women who have done just that over the course of the last few years and their honesty and truth is exactly what I needed. Today is day 12, it's been intense - like thought provoking, a few hours a night of homework intense. I can't stop thinking about it and how it's going to help me get my message out and I'm so STOKED!!!

So here's the deal - here's what I know so far. I'm making a few changes to my offerings. In focusing on parent coaching I realized I've been doing you guys a little bit of a disservice. I've been neglecting the relationships that happen before the parenting does. It comes up in client conversation, yes, but I've come to realize it should be front and center. The relationships we have throughout our lives shape the individuals we become. BOOM!!! That's HUGE. That's more important than anything really. That's the catalyst for the way we treat our personal relationships. That's the starting point for the parents we will eventually be and already are.

Here's what else I know - and I know you know this because I say it in my Pay It Forward posts on Friday's, but...Everyone has a story, and every story matters. That's the underlying message in my Pay It Forward's. I highlight people, causes, movements, organizations, good deeds, etc because of it. YOUR STORY MATTERS. Share it, shout it from the rooftops! As a parent, I ask my kids to tell me stories every day, THEIR stories of the stuff that happened to them or around them. As a wife, friend, coach, I encourage my peeps to tell me their stories. I WANT to know, I'm interested. I'm fascinated by people - that's why I do what I do. I do it to hear your stories and to help you reach your dreams.

I am so grateful for this clarity. My whole mood and business has shifted. I KNOW who the people who need me are and if it's you then come on in...the water's fine. In fact, the water is better than fine - it's AWESOME!! Being clear on where you're going in your relationships is so important on how you live your life and move forward whether it's in how you conduct your business, how you parent, how you are as a partner, (the list continues...). Make sure you're clear. Make sure you're focused. Make sure you know how much you matter.

I love you guys so much and I'm so grateful for the new ladies in my life who have helped me gain this clarity...building my tribe, who wants in???

xoxoxo

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